Chatting, IMs, In Awe, Me

“Do You Believe In God?”

I had a conversation with someone yesterday on Yahoo! Messenger, and eventually it led to him asking, “Do you believe in God?”.

This kinda threw me off and made me go to defensive mode. Uh, oh. I knew what was coming because this is usually the start of a ‘religious debate’.

So I said what I have always told everybody.

Me: Yes.
Dude: Do you understand the Bible?
Me: I know most of it, but I don’t understand all of it.
Dude: Then how do you believe in God if you don’t understand the Bible?

What? This was a weird question. Because in believing something you don’t have to necessarily understand it. But I did the foolish thing.

Me: Because I just do.

Bah. Then I went off saying:

Me: Well, I believe in love but I don’t understand it.
Dude: I see.
Me: I believe in my friends, but I don’t understand them most of the time.
Dude: Okay.

So far, so good.

Dude: What religion are you?
Me: I was raised in a Methodist church, but I accepted God as my Saviour.

That was true, yet I felt so uncertain. Why?

Dude: So you think you will go to heaven?

Another thing that threw me off. How can I answer this?

Me: Some say that we will, but I’m not sure myself. I still have a lot of questions to ask.
Dude: Okay.

Dolt! I didn’t think I answered that right. Whatever happened to things I learned about in Sunday School, Christian summer camps and retreats?!

Me: But I do believe in life after death.
Dude: I see.

The dude was all “I see” and “Okay” throughout the conversation and nothing else. I didn’t know what he felt or what he believed in. Maybe he was searching…like I apparently was.

I realized that I was so hesitant in answering. Was I that unsure of my faith? That insecure about letting it out to someone I don’t know? It shouldn’t be the case. Maybe I haven’t been really open about it, that it’s been buried deep within me and I didn’t want to let it out. It’s like keeping a secret I’ve hoarded for so long. It shouldn’t be the case, and I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I had let the Lord down. *prays a prayer of forgiveness* I need to get back in the saddle, that’s for sure.

6 thoughts on ““Do You Believe In God?””

  1. Do not be discouraged. I think that it’s hard for people to believe in things that they can’t see. We all doubt sometimes. I hate it when people try to argue with me about my faith. I’m glad that I have something in my life that I don’t have to understand but that I can just enjoy. Just like when I close my eyes and feel the wind in my face… I can’t see it or understand it, but I know it’s there and I feel it’s presence. It is the same with the love of Jesus.

    1. Violetbloom, I wanted to reply to Leiza directly on this (her post) earlier, but words would not come out on paper to make proper sense. So, I said nothing.

      What you just wrote here is great. It is how I feel too. I mean, I hardly ever step foot in a church (used to tons as a kid though), but, I’ve a very strong faith.

      In fact, I have made my way through some very difficult moments in my life through prayer. I don’t know how, but it is as if this power that I believe in (God) has definitely helped me through adversity. (I’m Christian faith)(And, I’ve read the bible far too many times to count).

      These experiences are about the only real *tangible*, if you can call it that, proof I have.

      I enjoy how Leiza started this, and how you have replied.

      – hope neither of you mind.

      – and thanks both for sharing.

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