A Sense of Longing

I always have this sense of longing…for something to do. I constantly search, find some things that I can do, but then they still leave me empty. I find no satisfaction or contentment or even something demanding my constant attention. I have not found that something that I can call my own thing, and one that will regularly have me going back for more and more.

I have a hyper mind, me thinks. One that needs knowledge at all times. One that gets distracted most of the time. One that longs for stimulation as one longs for water in a desert.

I don’t know. I’m always in a sense of melancholy lately…like I’m lacking something, or someone.

Maybe more of God in my life? Maybe. I have been putting Him off for quite some time. I have not even gone to church in so long, it’s unusual of me, let alone have a quiet time with Him in the confines of a peaceful room.

Maybe this is one of those signs that tells someone that something needs to be done. And now. I can’t help but think that God is nudging me, making me remember the good old times we had together. I know I need to get my act together soon.

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One thought on “A Sense of Longing

  1. I like this post very much Leiza. I have been in the same predicament many times in my life; a feeling of loneliness, melancholy, even sadness. Yet since I have family and friends and even gorgeous pets, why?

    Some of the time, situations specific to what females go through turned out to be the obvious culprit, when, days later, all is right with the world.

    Yet, like you, there are times when I know there is a deeper void in me; when I fret over global warming and feel hopeless, answerless. When I hurt very deeply over something incredibly beatiful in nature which is destroyed out of sensless greed. When a person says, or does something very nasty and unexpected to me, or somebody around me, and there is no rhyme or reason for it. When I hear of childeren molested by person in positions of authority such as government, church, or other. When I see a very old animal walking slowly, but surely, with crooked limbs which I know are either riddled with cancer, or painful arthritis, and there is no cure. And the list is quite verily endless.

    The world is not sugar coated. Though life is often beautiful, it still leaves its scar on everyone.

    It is times like this I look to God too. And what absolutely astounds me, is that I can be completely alone, or so it seems, and yet, so completely friended and somehow answered, or, spoken to in a way that helps me to understand.

    Bleah, I haven’t been to church in a million years either.

    Time to get my act together maybe too?

    … :D

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