Blah, Family, Me, Trips

Lola Basilisa Hortelano Elvas

I can’t sleep. It’s been almost 24 hours since I have learned my last living grandparent had passed away. I literally cried out, “Nooooooo!” after I saw my sister’s status update on her Facebook wall. I was devastated. I was happily planning to go back to the Philippines with my family in January, hoping to surprise Lola on her 96th birthday. It was going to be a memorable experience, given my two daughters have not seen their great grandmother yet. It was supposed to be epic.

Sadly, this will not be so. It feels like days already, yet…has it only been 20 plus hours? A lot has happened since then. I had startled Lucien awake after my outburst and had been a comfort to me since then. I literally broke down in tears. I only stopped so I could call people. I thought about Laverne, our old neighbor in Kinkaid, who had been best friends with my grandmother and fondly called her Lisa. They had exchanged letters over the years, and I had been visiting Laverne every once in a while to catch up with news. So, I decided to call her and let her know what had happened. As soon as I said my name, I knew something was wrong. Laverne didn’t know me. What? She does not recall who I was, nor my mom, my sisters who she has met years before, not even Ted, my grandfather, nor Lisa, my grandmother she hung out with so much. She did not know my grandmother. I was hurt. Extremely. Particularly the way she was indifferent with how I finally said that Lola had passed away. She seemed concerned enough but it wasn’t a concern by a great friend of hers, more like how an acquaintance reacts to someone who passed away. I hung up and sobbed even more. Never mind that she forgot me, or mom, or my sisters, I was more hurt that she would forget Lola like that. I later learned from Mom that Laverne might be suffering from dementia or onset of Alzheirmer’s because of her old age as well, but nevertheless it was heartbreaking.

Later in the afternoon, after exchanging instant messages from family back home, we decided to use Skype. It was comforting at least to talk to family, catching up on things and trying to figure out if or when we will go home. In the meantime, Lucien was trying his best to get me to the Philippines in two days time, and I had been filling out time off request forms for my employer. Lucien came through for me, and was able to get me tickets, but I had to go to Houston to board his ailrine’s international flight. No biggie, and luckily my flight doesn’t leave till the afternoon. My employer was generous enough to give me my requested time and do what I need to do. All through this, I felt like in a daze, totally exhausted yet my mind wouldn’t let me sleep like tonight. I was constantly online, calling this and that, doing a few quick errands and repeat. I even had the strength to cook which kinda comforted me more a bit. I used to remember Lola “forcing” me to learn how to cook. I say forcing because at the time, I wasn’t interested. However, the ever present home economics teacher in her had insisted I learn a thing or two of cooking. And even typing. And sewing. And doing crochet.

When Lucien and the kids got home, we all sat down and talked. I actually didn’t want to because I know I would burst out crying. But we had to explain to Dani and Lauren how Lola, who they were excited to see, is now in heaven. It was a little hard to explain it and Lucien even had a hard time trying not to cry. Later, after dinner, Lucien insisted I go take a nap, as I had not rested since the news. I had fitfully slept for three hours and woke up since I still had some packing to do. After the girls had gone to bed, Lucien and I had some good conversations about Lola. He is so sweet and all I needed for comfort. How blessed I am with this man.

There are so many loving memories of her. I’m just sad that I didn’t get to spend more time with her as we lived so far away. Lola didn’t like it in the States. She felt her age, and she couldn’t go outside and do as she pleased. In the Philippines, she was the queen of the house and can go about and do active things. She felt so alive there.

More memories I remember:

– I used to invite her to go to church with me and she used to scoff at me and refuse to go. When I was already here in the US, I had heard she is so active in church, holding bible studies in her house and had a women’s circle group. What a change! I was so happy for her.
– I loved her “Ahay!” “Meow meow!” remarks I teach them to my kids.
– Lucien had said Lola was the first one to accept him to the family, even before my mom did as she didn’t like him at the start. She said something like, “He is my grandson already!” Lucien was so touched as he had no grandparents anymore. She even gave him a hug to welcome him to the family. He teared up as he said this and I followed suit. He really loved her as his own.
– We went to a reception of some sort and had a big banquet. As they were serving coffee around the tables, the server asked Lola if she wanted some. She said “No, thank you” while nodding her head yes. The server was so confused and gave her coffee anyway. She leaned over to me to ask why she got coffee when she had refused and I told her she was nodding yes. Haha.
– I heard about how Lola went to the bank to withdraw some money. The teller asked, “What denomination?” (pertaining what kinds of bills she needed) Lola answered confidently, “When I was younger, I was a Baptist, but now I go to a Methodist church!” :P

There are more but now my mind has finally admitted its exhaustion. Tomorrow night, we will drive to Houston and begin my journey home and see Lola for the final time.

Blah, Me

Make The Congressmen & Senators Take The Same Health Care Plan!

I got this email from my family, and I thought it’d be a good thing for us to sign it! I have already done so.

Original Message:

Finally, some good news to act on!!
Forward this as fast as you can!

On Tuesday, the Senate health committee voted 12-11 in favor of a two-page amendment that would require all Members and their staffs to enroll in any new government-run health plan.

It took me less than a minute to sign up to require our congressmen and senators to drink at the same trough!

Three cheers for Congressman John Fleming of Louisiana! Congressman John Fleming (Louisiana physician) has proposed an amendment that would require congressmen and senators to take the same health care plan they force on us (under proposed legislation they are curiously exempt).
Congressman Fleming is encouraging people to go on his Website and Sign his petition (very simple – just email).

I have just done just that at:
Please urge as many people as you can to do the same!

If Congress forces this on the American people, the Congress should have to accept the same level of health care for themselves and their families.

To do otherwise is the height of hypocrisy!
Please pass this on !!!

Blah, Reads


I’m just so blah today. I want to hide in my own little world. Turn off the lights. Curl fetus-like in my covers. Sleep the day away. Are these signs of depression? Or is my body telling me the time of my daughter’s birth is getting nearer and nearer? I don’t know. Even playing my regular online games isn’t amusing me. All I managed today was read a book. I don’t even know if I want to fire up my laptop right now. I might just continue reading the manga I was reading yesterday.

Speaking of books, I just found out that the 3rd book of the Inheritance trilogy written by Christopher Paolini is out. That’s on my list of books to get. I’m torn between getting the e-book version for my iPhone or just getting the hardcover. I think I might do the latter, since I have the first 2 books.

Looking forward to the Inkheart movie, and I love how they casted Brendan Fraser as the dad. I read the book once and I thought it was good. I should read it again soon.

Anyways, that’s all for now. At least I feel a little better now that I wrote stuff down. Toodles.

Blah, Slumming

We’re Okay Here.

Seriously. We haven’t even been affected by Ike or anything. People have been asking if we’re okay and such. There was little rain and winds weren’t that bad, either, though we had a wind advisory. In fact, it’s actually sunny today.

Galveston didn’t have it so lucky, though. There has been alertness all around our workplace because we might get some transfers from other children’s hospitals from Houston/Galveston.

Thanks for your concern for us. We’re really okay.

Blah, Family, Slumming

Thinking of…

I have an affinity to be melodramatic. My imagination always, ALWAYS goes haywire with little things like missing a stair step that I end up falling down and hitting my head on the sharp edge of the piano leg that’s right at the end of the stairs at home. And what would happen afterwards, and so on. The list is goes on that contain lots of worst-scenario mishaps I might encounter. This also includes wrong-doings that might happen to my hubby or my daughter, but mostly mainly me.

I’m always afraid of death. I’m sure I’m not the only one. It’s not really the death itself that scares me the most. It’s leaving the ones behind. What happens when I’ve passed on. How will they cope when I’m gone. Also the things I’ve done on the Internet will still be somewhat active still, yet the “star” is not there. It’s almost to the point that I want to make a living will.

I know I’m being weird. I don’t think I’ll die anytime soon, but there’s always the thought. You’ll never really know, huh?

I’m also afraid of losing hubby. I don’t show it much, but in the back of my mind, I’m screaming and pulling my hair out due to worry for my husband. He’s been really lucky, or shall I say blessed, in life. He’s had so many life-threatening accidents happen and he comes out unscathed. But how long will it last?

I guess I’m just scared in total of the uncertainty of life. I see all these murders and deaths happen in the news lately, it’s almost become a “household” theme. Like this man, for example, who stabbed his wife to death because she wouldn’t sleep in the bedroom. I mean, c’mon! It’s just so totally bogus to have something happen like that just because of a minute matter.

I have an affinity to be melodramatic. Now you know why.

Blah, Gaming, Grr, Technology

Computer Blues

I’ve been having problems with my PC freezing up and it’s not fun.  Especially when it’s the most expensive computer purchase I’ve ever done and it’s not even a year old yet.

So, I’ve spent the past couple of hours talking to customer support and having them help me fix it.  We’ve done the Memory Diagnostic, the Flash BIOS, and even to the point of reimaging the system, but nothing works!  I’m so frustrated.

LoTRO is going live on the 24th, too.  Whatever will I do?

Blah, Family, Me, Ponderisms, TV

Satellite TV is Evil, but DVR is Good

Remember Well, I was channel-changing looking for things to watch for on TV one day. I saw a video of a band I don’t know (found out now that the band’s name is All-American Rejects) but they were singing about ‘secrets’ and they were showing all, or almost all, the postcards sent to the site. I think it’s awesome the site is getting exposure but, at the same time, I’m envious. It’s one of those things I wish I thought of the idea first. Sigh. I know my day will come.

Speaking of thinking up on ideas or inventions, Lucien and I unofficially play a game of thinking up of stuff that will make things better. Like one of those informercial thingies. It’s funny what we come up with, but for the moment, I don’t remember what they are. Maybe I should write it down. Knowing me, I would lose interest soon.

I’m bad in keeping projects. I usually start on one with gusto, enthusiasm and diligence, but I would lose interest quick. I think the reason why is that I don’t set too much of my priorities straight as far as hobbies go. I have too much that I want to do. Cross-stitching, reading, writing, model-building, painting, etcetera, etcetera. I think the only thing I do properly is reading.

Been addicted to Stargate SG-1 lately. Ever since we got the Satellite TV and DVR, I made it a point to record all of the episodes to catch up on what I missed. I’m glad they still have the series going until now on Sci-Fi, though I’m not too partial on the new Colonel. I miss the old cast. At least 2 or 3 of them are still there. Unfotunately, I haven’t been too enthusiastic in recording other series. Shows like CSI (which I should since I watch it every chance I get), Charmed, and Smallville. I don’t know. Everytime I try to record them, I opt to delete them afterwards, not watching them. It’s weird.

Well, that’s how my life is going right now. That’s why I’m not writing too much lately, because I’m boring and pretty much everything is the same. Heh.