Creating, Dreams, Grr

Was Going To Write About A Dream…

Man, that sucked. When I tried to get into my blog to write about a dream I had, all I saw was “THIS SITE HAS BEEN HACKED!” Ugh! Was I mad. And here I had to check which area in my website was hacked into and scrambled to update my passwords and such, only to find out that it was only my theme that was hacked into and not the others. Kind of a relief but still annoying. So now, I changed themes, with a little bubbly stuff on it.

So, about the dream. It was weird than most. It felt like a nightmare of sorts.

I felt like I was playing this game, a virtual reality RPG-style type, where I wandered around with a few friends in a house and I had the ability to fly and conjure some spirits to help me combat evil. We got to this house right, and for some reason I was alone (the others were somewhere else inside the house). I happened to turn a corner and saw this zombie-like guy (shaved head, had a big trenchcoat on) and I ran for it because he saw me.

He chased me around the house, then the house turned into a cave-like structure. I couldn’t seem to fly away from him since I have forgotten all reason as I was so scared. Then, he finally caught me and I fell on the floor, screaming for my life, and he bit on my leg and started sucking my life-force. Somehow, the pain I thought I was going to feel was nothing more but a little touch on the leg, and I went limp, then suddenly felt my body pucker up like a prune as my life-force was leaving me. Then nothing but black.

My game seems to have reset. I’m back at the house, and I turned around the corner again and there’s the zombie. This time, I try to be smart and conjured one of my spirits to deter him from catching me. I reach a bedroom and went under the bed, while conjuring up another warrior-like spirit. The zombie came in the bedroom in the meantime and he started looking around the room. He almost checked under the bed and then my warrior spirit appeared and killed him on the spot. I then woke up.

I still don’t know why I didn’t fly.

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Creating, Food

Spam, Spinach Greens, and Steamed Rice

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The rice and Spam were easy enough to make, but the spinach greens was a first for me.

I fried some bacon bits on the skillet, took the bits off after they were cooked, sauteed some minced garlic and chopped onions on the bacon fat.

I put a half a bag of baby spinach after the onions were glassy-looking, added some parsley flakes and oregano, and then turned the spinach over the other ingredients till it wilted a bit. Take the spinach out and put the bacon bits on top.

Voila! My first creation without following a recipe. I got the idea from watching a lot of “30 Minute Meals with Rachel Ray” so I figured I’d give it a go.

The taste wasn’t so bad, either. Although it comes out tasting bland on its own, the saltiness of the bacon bits and Spam complimented it and the rice just made the picture complete.

Creating, In Awe

To Cheer Things Up…And Then Some

I know my last post was a little…eh, well, depressing. I know, melodrama, right? Told you.

But I forgot to tell you in spite of the things I said, I am always assured there is Someone up there that knows what I feel, and knows who I am. I am assured to know the Lord is with me always, and He is my comfort and my joy. When I am down, I look up to the Lord. When I am scared, I pray fervently. When I am happy, I thank Him wholeheartedly. I know I don’t always show it, but I do all those things. He is my comfort. He is my joy.

So, yeah. I’m not always “depressed”. Just a little lonely sometimes.

That’s where the contradiction starts. I know you’ll start thinking, “Oh, I better call her and talk to her..” or something similar. But the loner in me will start screaming and force me to go in hiding. How do I say this? I would love to hear from you, but I don’t want to talk to you. Sounds harsh? Don’t get offended. I just want to wallow in my thoughts sometimes. It also gives me the inspiration to write again. It’s like an elixir for creativeness. When I’m happy, I can’t write a thing; “writer’s block”.

So, yeah. I know I’m weird. But I hope you like it.

P.S. Thanks, Dad, for the prayer email. Meant a lot to me. :)

Creating, Me, Slumming

You Don’t Really Care

You don’t really care –
That I looked for you.
You don’t really care –
I wept for you.
You don’t really care –
I walked the world for you.
You don’t really care –
Do you?

Do you really care –
What’s going on with me?
Do you really care –
If I slipped and fell?
Do you really care –
If I’m stuck here?
Do you really care –
Do you?

I do.

You don’t really care –
That I cry at night.
You don’t really care –
When I tell you I’m here for you.
You don’t really care –
When I need a hug.
You don’t really care –
Do you?

Do you really care –
Something’s wrong with me?
Do you really care –
You want to hold me close?
Do you really care –
Things will be okay?
Do you really care –
Do you?

I do.

Creating, Me

Your Love

lying in the dark,
an ache of loneliness,
a lingering sigh,
a raging desire
for your warmth beside me.

stomach churning,
heart racing,
body searching,
hands reaching
for your arms to hold me.

restlessness arise,
not under control,
tossing and turning,
no direction to go
but towards your loving embrace.

feeling uneasy,
endless melancholy,
ever wistful,
yet there you are
loving me.

Creating, Food, Ponderisms, Random

Needlepoint and Strange Conversations

I knew it. I knew the time my mom gave me a needlepoint craft for my birthday I would be addicted to it again. Once I get started on these kinds of projects, it’s hard for me to stop. I remember finishing one big 18×18 cross-stitch project. It took me four months to finish.

I will never tire. I will never wane. I will finish the project no matter what. No matter how my fingers hurt. No matter how I squint through the dim light. No matter how my back hurts from crouching. No matter how many countless hours I’d be at it. I will finish this project. No. Matter. What.

Last night, it took me four hours to calm down from my excitement starting on this project. By that time, Luci had come home and I was ready to sleep at 6:30 AM and get up at 12 noon. *sigh* Crazy schedules.

In other news, Luci and I went to eat at a nearby Burger Station and started talking about philosophy/Christanity/death/pre-destiny mix over a mushroom burger and steak fingers. The grease must have triggered it. Or probably the two toy salesmen and the promoting pizza guy (Who in the hell gives out pizza for a small fee in a burger restaurant?? Odd, I tell you!) that came in a few minutes after we sat down. I’ll probably never know.